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Thursday, September 20, 2012

MTV Challenges: Battle of the Seasons Premier was Rigged but oh so GLORIOUS




Bunim/Murray Production always wins. With the 6th sport, Big Brother, coming to an end, time to move on from my mental strength to my actual physical/testosterone strength and jock-ular nature as a athletic, chauvinistic, lonely drunk asshole with The Challenge.

This is the reason why the Challenge's scouting combine show, err, The Real World should never be cancelled. Take away the prospects, get stuck with the Legends (Kenny/Evan/Johnny or Solo CT) running the game from Day 1. This year though, Bunim/Murray knew what needed to be done. Develop valiant challengers for the legends by keeping the legends at home even though the legends are not happy that their only weekly paycheck is no mas because the show needed to develop a youth program. Good for TV and Twitter though.

As usual, the drunk/gay guy (Frank) brought the ruckus, the homophobic real worlder (Zach) brought the homoerotic, the divorced couple (Danny/Melinda) are now lonely teammates and the newly inducted Challenge participant blonde (Mckenzie) put on the bikini for some future modeling jobs. Also, can't forget the desperate for camera time broad (Jonna) faking a break up to hook up with Thor (Zach, again).

Bunim/Murray needed something to kick the season off right. They knew Fat/Slack "but I lost 70 pounds though" Eric was going to suck at comps and be placed in the eliminator, so they pre-planned this whole premier finale from the get-go. So boom, Cancun won the comp and decided to send strong-team Austin to choose who will be man/girl enough to go face some fresh meat. Danny chickened out from the moment Austin was announced, so the ginger self-appointed bad ass Wes had to, again, announce that he was being noble to go do it. While Austin also just planned to cut out the fat from the team with some no-name girl. She lost, good for them.

But... what is obvious in reality-TV is that the underdog always seems to have a legitimate shot when it comes to time elapsing before the elimination competition. With 300 pound Eric vs. 150 pound Wes about to square off in a "strength" competition, Bunim/Murray had to bright (but not really) idea to set it up to make it look like Eric actually had athletic ability at all and that's why he is still casted onto the 5th sport's roster every couple of seasons. So lets put a 300 pounder vs. a 150 pounder in between 2 walls separated by only 30 inches or so and see who can run through who to ring a bell.



David Stern laughs at how fixed that competition is.

Eric gloats like he is a beast, which he is really is in all the horrifying ways, while Wes just straight up on pre-recorded television which makes air (classic Bunim/Murray editing) how rigged that was. Thus propelling us into another season of the decade decided "USA's Glory Sport," The Challenge. [Follow me @TravisHouser]

PS - TJ Lavin would disregard you as a person if you quit before even trying to read that post.

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