Thursday, August 23, 2012

UFC Canceled a UFC: Changing the Sports Landscape as we Know it

Similar to the NFL canceling week 7 due to Roger Goodell having surgery. When Nike becomes involved in a sport, shit's just bound to get ridiculous, thanks to the loudest portable speakers from Jon Jones and Greg Jackson just changed the UFC Number System. UFC 149, UFC 150 then UFC 152. There's no such thing as UFC 151. Watch more at Tarjeta roja.

Dan Henderson pops his knee ligament, Chael Sonnen then pops the question and Jon Jones drops a non-Nike "Just Won't Do It." Dana White throws a conference table over, and does one thing he has never done before: Calls a card he and his execs made a piece of shit to put on PPV or TV. About 20 other UFC fighter, though very subpar UFC fighters, won't be getting a paycheck for a couple of months now because Greg Jackson told Jon fighting on 8 days notice is career jeopardy. (I fight on 1 second 'shove-me-while-I'm-Drinking notice every weekend at the bar.) "Jon, go get some fans."

"Hey Lebron, how did my Decision go?" - Nike Jonny, aka LeBones Jones. 

 Jones vs. Belfort for UFC 152 because Machida is scared homie, Shogun is probably still exhausted from his 4 round scrap and Anderson doesn't accept fights on 4 months notice but on 8 days notice he would fight a lower-tier than Jon Jones light heavyweight if needed. Most chaotic day in UFC Non-Fight Night History. Dana White loses money when he probably deserves millions after all this shit.

Lance Armstrong Gives Up Dope, err, Gives Up Fighting Dope Charges

Lance, we get it. You don't have the balls to fight the charges.

[] - You can take his 7 Tour De Frances and all his bicycles away from him for a lifetime, but you can never prove he took steroids 12-15 years ago. At least he's still able to try and romance with hollywood stars with one testicle and his career as a "cameo actor in shitty comedy films". Will he be allowed to ride BMX bikes is the real question? 

Update: Lance Armstrong's Statement - ""

ESPN flicks Finger Guns at Cameras with this Bill Simmons on NBA Countdown news

Who's up for some 1970's NBA references, 1,000 words about his "Book on Basketball" and a lil podcast humor he heard earlier in the week before we watch Lebron James take on whatever opponent it is that Sunday? Think of it like the time Tony Kornheiser killed on Monday Night Football.

PS - Tony Reali to get the 14th Hole of the Masters in 2013?

5'1 Sixth Grader on a HS Varsity Football Team is all about Outkicking The Coverage

When did America start honoring TD Passes? Here is what needs to be known about this kid: Robinson achieved his feat for Franklin (Tenn.) Christian Academy during on Friday. _________________________________________________________ The kid is no Tim Tebow, Andrew Luck or even Doug Flutie. Hey Andrew Robinson, you're not in Canada, kid. Tennessee isn't close to Texas, Alabama or Florida, but you're in the region where people are paralyzed every week because they tried to be something they really aren't in HS football. Longevity, bro. You need too look at your religion-first school offensive linemen and picture if they can handle the one time this season they're playing against that 210 pounder who's parents just got divorced. You've got 6 years before a FBS or FCS school can even offer you a scholarship. Just go get some Christian HS chicks with this one-game legend making experience, and worry about football when you become a freshman.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Michael Strahan just Jacking all of Tiki Barber's Dreams

Kelly Ripa is the floss to Michael Strahan's gap. Which ABC producer had the thought, "You know who makes a great replacement for the 5'4 irish guy who only knows Catholic sports? The 6'4 black guy who lost all his athlete money because of divorce." King Henry VIII laughs at that joke.

PS - Tiki mad he chose NBC and not ABC, right about... NOW.

No wonder Prince Harry wasn't Worthy of King Status

One of the easiest decisions the Queen had to make this decade. Ladies will always choose the balding blonde over the 'please-love-me' ginger. Queen Elizabeth is just another woman with the same basic taste.

Surveilance Video of Tony Farmer beating his GF

Court sentenced him to 3 years today.Glad the judge decided to give him the extra year in prison just so he gets some punishment for this emasculating action. Except for the fact he'll probably get out in 1.5 years. College Basketball recruits are trying to find any way around David Stern's NBA Draft age limit these days.

7 Gymnasts going viral by just showing how bad US Men Gymnastics is

Synchronized backflipping at it's finest. In your face John Orosco, Danell Leyva and all you other pummel horse failures. Teammwork displayed at it's finest.